? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
