he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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