i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
