He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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