Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I didn't notice because vodka
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize