As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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