Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
