I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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