he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize