My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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