and next time when you feel me up, do it right
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
