why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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