do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
