UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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