help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
