I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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