she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
it's great music for shaving your balls
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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