I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
