based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
