There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
