I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
