Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
