so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Bring me that man meat
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
