I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
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