were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
