She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
