I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
