Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
