my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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