That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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