just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize