GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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