So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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