we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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