dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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