Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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