I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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