I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You smell like a Billy Joel song
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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