I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
