you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
