I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
