11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
