Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
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