The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
