Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
