The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
