Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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