Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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