I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
