areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
