I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
