Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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