Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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