He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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