Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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