I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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