I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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