i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
