just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't want my vagina anymore.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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