he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
