just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
