u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
