Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
