In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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