You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
