It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
